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5 Essentials - Part 4 - Keep it Real

 (Welcome to our youth staff meeting. For more info about the 5 Essentials click here.) 

 

    Today is the day that students gather together at school flagpoles across America to pray.  See You At the Pole is a great annual event.  As I went to bed last night I was reminded of a See You At the Pole event from about 6 years ago. 

    I had not been a Youth Pastor for very long.  I had been working very hard that school year to develop relationships with some teachers in a local high school.  I had challenged our students to get involved in their schools like never before and some rose to the challenge.

    A couple of the students really took it to heart and actually organized the SYATP event at that school.     This was a great thing.  I was so excited.  The students from our youth group asked for me to speak and also to bring my guitar to help lead worship that morning.  I was so excited.  This was our first big opportunity to make an impact on this school campus.  

    I can remember going to bed the night before excited about the upcoming day, then you know what happened next....  

I overslept.  

    I woke up and looked at my clock which was blinking 7:40, 7:40, 7:40, 7:40.  

I had slept through the alarm that morning and had completely missed the See You At The Pole event. When I woke up the students were already in school.

    Of all days to oversleep!  I felt horrible.  I had missed a great opportunity to make a difference on a high school campus.  And most of all, I had let the students down.  I felt like a failure.  I was so disappointed in myself. The chances are, if you have been in ministry more than 5 minutes, you know that feeling.  

    You know what it feels like to make a mistake along the way.  I am not talking about sin.  I am talking about the times we have not been the greatest leaders.  The times we have not fulfilled commitments. The times we have missed opportunities.  The times we have let students down along the way.  The times we have slept in. This speaks to the reality that we are all human.  There will be times when we make mistakes.  

So, what do we do?  We keep be real!

Be real when you make a mistake.  Be real when you let yourself and others down.  This is one of our key essentials to leading students because it is all about authenticity. The greatest way we lead students is not through our perfection, but rather through our authenticity.When we are real we allow students to see themselves in us.  Saying, "I am sorry" is not a bad thing.  Telling a student, "I don't know" is not a sign of failure, but of honesty and vulnerability.  When your students see you being open like this, they will be more likely to do the same.

 

Here are some principles to keep in mind:

 

1. When you mess up...fess up - Sometimes you have to make the hard phone call like I had to that day  to students that were counting on me.  I told them that I was so sorry and that I felt so bad.  Sure, I was the leader, and I really did not "have" to give them an explination, but I wanted to be real with them and say that I was sorry.  Through being real with them and showing my sincerity they gladly forgave me and we saw God do great things on that campus that school year! 

 

2. Share your life...appropriately - Give students permission to be who they are by being comfortable in your own skin.  Share the stories from your life with them.  Share mistakes and miracles; sadness and success.  However, do not dump the dirt of your life on students.  Make sure you share appropriately in a way that is edifying to students.  Don't continually talk about things that you used to do before you came to Christ in such a way that it appears you are proud of what you used to be.  Remember, we are dealing with students that are very impressionable.  We must be sure to obey 1 Timothy 1:4 and not minister questions to students.  Seek to share your life in a way that students gain answers and not just more questions.

 

So, let's keep it real.  Some days we do accidentally oversleep. Just keep going. Don't be discouraged. Be encouraged.  Just set your alarm again and keep it real!

 

 

5 Essentials - Part 3 - Fill-Up First

(Welcome to our youth staff meeting. For more info about the 5 Essentials click here.) 

When I first started driving I had an innate fear.  I was terrified of running out of gas.  So, in an effort to always stay full, I would stop by the gas station near my house anytime my tank got below 3/4 of a tank.  The idea of getting close to "E" scared me.  I can proudly say that I have never ran out of gas.  However, things have changed since then.  Now, my car hardly ever sees 3/4 of gas in the tank.  I know this is not normal, but I hardly ever really get a full tank of gas.  I usually just stop and get $20 worth or $30 worth after my car tells me that I have "0 Miles to empty."  

There are two reasons that I usually drive on empty: 

#1 - I don't want to pay the price - gas is expensive as all of you know, and I hate the idea of dropping $80 to fill up my Jeep. 

#2 - I am too busy - It seems that I always need to fill up with gas at the most inconvenient times.  Life is busy and I am never excited about detouring from what I am doing to fill-up.

I think it is the same in my spiritual walk.  When I first felt the call of God on my life I was so terrified about running out of gas and I did whatever it took to make sure that my spiritual tank stayed full.   However, as years go by, it is very easy to grow comfortable just living our spiritual lives on "E."  Two things get in our way.  We don't want to pay the price, and we allow the busy lives to crowd out our relationship with Jesus.

I want us to do an inventory of our hearts and see if we are living our spiritual lives too close to empty.  Understand, we can't give students what we don't have.  We can't take students where we have not been. We reproduce what we are, not what we want to be.  We must lead others from the overflow of what God is doing in our own hearts and lives.  

It is easy to allow our WORK for God to replace our WALK with God.  When we allow our work to replace our walk then we are out of order.

Mark 12:28-31 
28 Then one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, perceiving that He had answered them well, asked Him, "Which is the first commandment of all?" 29 Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.'This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these."

Jesus says that the two greatest commandments are: #1 to love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.  #2 To love your neighbor as yourself.  Notice their order again.  The first commandment is to love God, then we love people.  When we love people first we are in danger of having a ministry-centered life instead of a God-centered life. 

As Doug Fields says, "We are called to love God and like students."  

John 15:5
5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 

Understand that without being connected to God we can do NOTHING of eternal value.  We can do nothing that truly matters.  If we are going to be effective in working with students understand the foundation is not our creativity, ingenuity, or our superb ability to relate to students.  If we are going to have fruit that remains from our work in student ministry our foundation is our connection with God.  In John 15 Jesus goes on to say that he wants us to go from a servant to a friend relationship.  In other words, he wants us to be more than just task-oriented servants, he wants us to be relationship-oriented friends.  We must develop an intimacy with God that is not dependant with him using us in ministry.

Low-Fuel Indicators

1. You have extended periods when you do not spend time with God alone.
2. You only spend time in prayer and study of the word when you are preparing to minister.

Ways to Fill-Up

1. Set aside specific times to connect with God through prayer.
2. Have a daily diet of scritpure not consumed for the purpose of teaching.
3. Place God's abiding Word in your heart through memorizing the scriptures.
4. Practice the discipline of fasting.
5. Utilize marginal time in your life to fill-up.  (Spend time during your daily commute to listen to the Bible or a message.)

The warning from John 15 is clear.  Without staying connected to Jesus we can truly do nothing.  However, the promise is clear as well.  When we do choose to abide in Him and allow His word to abide in us then we will bear much fruit.  Let's choose to pay the price and set aside the business of our lives so that we can stay full of the Holy Ghost.  

 

Reverb in Review 9/14/11

Series: "The Truth About God" - Week 1 - The Cop Around the Corner

Series Big Idea: Too many times we try to create God in our own image. We allow our own misconceptions about God to separate us from Him. In this series we will expose common false images that students often have of God, and give them the true picture of who God really is through Jesus Christ.

This Week's Key Scriptures: John 8:2-11

This Week's Key Thought: God is not a cop around the corner. 

Understandable Message: This week we kicked off our new series by shreding the misconcepton that God is just a cop around the corner.  Sometimes students believe that God is just lurking in the shadows of their lives looking to catch them.  We looked at the account in John 8 when the woman who was caught in adultry was brought to Jesus.  In this passage, the men took it upon themselves to have a "steak-out" at this woman's house so they would catch her in her sin.  They assumed this is the way God was.  They illustrate the reality that we will become like what we percieve God to be.  They thought God was a cop around the corner, so they took it upon themselves to catch this woman in her sin.  
    We see the truth about God and his grace through the response of Jesus to this woman who had been caught in her sin.  He did not agree with their undercover operation.  Did he say that she did nothing wrong?  Absolutely not!  He acknowledged her sin and admonished her to stop.  However, he was not riding shotgun with the self-appointed holiness five-o looking to stone her in her sin.  God is not hiding out in the shadows around the corner looking to catch us in our sin.  Rather, God is standing in the open where we can see him.  He is standing between us and the full weight and consequence of our sins and destructive choices.  He is fully able to uphold the law in every way, however, hehe still seeks to make a way for us to be fully free and forgiven of all charges.  He has a rap sheet on us that could condemn us for life, and he has every right to do so.  However, he chooses to offer us new life through His forgiveness.  What is there not to love about a God like this?

Creative Elements: We had a fun video that we used to introduce this series.  We also themed our student chapel to match our series video & graphic title.  We had shreadded pictures that represented our different misconceptions about God covering the back of the platform.  Also, to go with our subject in the classes, we played the theme to COPS "Bad Boys" when students were coming in and leaving the student chapel to go to their classes.  Our classes also used this funny video to introduce the topic of the night (http://sermonspice.com/product/20855/obeying-the-law)

Songs: Glory, Everything I Need (Kutless), There is Nothing Like

Next Week: "The Truth About God" Part 2

 

The 5 Essentials

When I was a Senior in High School I had the opportunity to begin training to get my private pilot's license.  It was a dream come true.  I had always wanted to fly.  I found this place out in the country where the lessons were half the price from the airport in the town that I lived in.  The airport had a grass landing strip.  You could only land and take off one way.  You also had to beware of the cows that would cross the runway at times.  Fun times.  

I had invisioned what it would be like to fly.  I just thought I would step into the airplane, turn on the engine, and then get flying.  Boy was I wrong.  There was this thing in the cockpit that had to be checked before we would ever take off in the plane.  It was our checklist.  The checklist included checking the alerons and the elevators.  We made sure our instruments were working properly and that the engine had the proper amount of oil.  We used this checklist EVERYTIME.  

My instructor also used this checklist everytime he would fly.  Eventhough he had been flying for over 40 years and had been a fighter pilot in Vietnam and flew commercial jets.  He would say that you must never take off without first going over the checklist.  Every time we landed we would go through the checklist again before we flew again.  The checklist was vital because it helped us to remember fundamental elements of the task ahead.

I want to share with you our youth staff's pre-flight checklist.  Every time our youth staff gets together for a meeting we go over this checklist to ensure that we do not forget the fundamentals of the task ahead of us.  We call them our "5 Essentials."  They were adopted from the student ministry of Northpoint Church.  We have made them our own and seek, as a youth staff, to infuse these 5 Essentials into the culture of our studennt ministry.

 

Our 5 Essentials are:

1. It's a Journey

2. Time on their Turf

3. Fill-Up First

4. Keep it Real

5. Partner with Parents

 

Each youth staff meeting we go over one of these principles in depth.  For the next couple posts I invite you to step into one of our youth staff meetings as we go through the different elements of our checklist together.

 

"UpsideDown Thinking" NAYC Youth Workers Session handout

Here are the notes/resources that were given out during my session at NAYC this year.  I know everyone was not able to get a physical copy of the handout that attended the session so I wanted to provide it for those who were interested.  It was such an honor to be able to meet and to speak with so many amazing youth workers this year at NAYC. I am so thankfkul for the GYD, and the great job they did this year with Youth Congress.  

Download the handout here

 

 

The 3D Challenge

Last Wednesday night, with our kickoff of 3D, we issued a challenge to students and staff to read their Bibles everyday.  We simply called it the "3D Challenge."  This summer we are focusing on developing deep faith through daily decisions.  One of the daily decisions we are making is the decision to read the Bible.  

Everything changed when king Josiah found "The Book" in 2 Kings 22.  The Word of God was there all along, however, Josiah was not aware of it.  Our prayer is that this summer many students will discover "The Book" and be forever changed.  

As a way to remember the challenge, we gave each student a bookmark to remember what we are reading each day.  We also are posting the scriptures on a blog each day here and on facebook. 

 

The Greatest Team

Last night at our youth staff meeting we had a discussion that centered on two simple questions.

1. What is the greatest leader you have ever been around and why?

2. What is the greatest team you have ever been on and why?

The conversation that resulted from these questions was great.  It was inspiring to hear all the stories of the great teams and leaders that everyone had been exposed to.  Through this discussion our team began to develop a list of values for our youth staff.  

The values that we want for our team:

Humility
Listening
No Sacred Cows
Play to your strengths
Cooperation
Everyone has a voice
Loyalty
Honesty

Any thoughts or values we could add to the list?

THE EVENT 4.01

We are so excited about THE EVENT coming up on April 1st!  Aaron Kelly, Bryan Pound, James Simms, and Reaction!  Free Admission! It's going to be a great night!

 

Think Fundamentals Not Flash

"What are you doing in your student ministry that will outlast you?"

That is the statement God used from this book to wreck my thinking. 

In working with students it is so easy to spend your time, energy, and efforts focusing on things that are flashy but not fundamental.  Things that are good but not essential.  Things that are relevant, but not lasting.

For me, I love creativity.  I love things being fresh and new and all that.  I love sermon series with nice graphics and videos that challenge students to think about and respond God like never before.  I realize, that we are living in a media-driven generation whose attention must be captivated by any means necessary.  I understand all that.  I think we should have all that.  I think we should speak the gospel in the language of students today.  There is nothing wrong with that.  That is incarnational student ministry.  That is what Jesus did, he was not content just being a booming voice from a mountain, he wanted to come into the world so people could touch God.

I love all this, and if you came to reverb this past Wednesday, you would have seen all of the above.  Flash, I use it.  And I think you should use it too, but never at the expense of the fundamentals.

 

Prayer.  That's fundamental. 

Having a move of God.  That's fundamental.

Reading the Bible.  That is fundamental.

Being Holy.  That's fundamental.

Preaching doctrine.  That's fundamental.

Challenging students to share their faith.  That's fundamental....

 

It is so easy for me to spend hours upon hours preparing flash for our student ministry and neglect the fundamentals.  There is something wrong if I spend more time preparing flash for a youth service than I do in prayer and study for that same youth service.  We cannot substitue the fundamentals.  

I grew up hearing my Pastor make this statement,
"What God blesses as a supplement, he will curse when it becomes a substitute."

I want to put something in the lives of students that will outlast me.  I want to see students making a difference in their world for Jesus, not just while they are in High School, but for the rest of their lives.

I want to think fundamentals, not flash.

Think Relationship Not Role

“Leadership is influence.”  -Maxwell

If leadership is all about influence, then the real question is, “How do we gain influence?”  I have found that influence with students is born out of the relationships you have with them.  

Remember the story of Philip and Nathaniel? (John 1) Philip had a life-changing experience with Jesus and he wanted Nathaniel to have the same experience.  So Philip tells Nathaniel about Jesus.  Then Nathaniel, like many students that we serve, had some doubts.  “Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?” he said.  To Nathaniel’s doubts, Philip simply says, “Come and see.”  Notice, Philip’s appeal is to the relationship that he has developed with with Nathaniel. 

This is what we want.  We want to see students have a life-changing encounter with Jesus.  However, most students will not come to Jesus if we haven’t first developed a relationship with them so that they trust us when we say, “Come and see.”  Come and see what Jesus made you for.  Come and see how Jesus has called you to live.  Come and see your purpose. 

I have found that the ultimate relevance is relationship, and that “I Care” trumps “I’m Cool” every time.

Over and over, the moments that students say have impacted their lives have not been about the things that I had associated with my role.  I haven’t heard one talk yet about the messages I’ve so carefully crafted, or the cool invitations I spent hours designing.  

The things they said impacted their lives were all about relationships.  A conversation over lunch after school.  Taking them home from their basketball practice.  A trip to the mall.  Things that I honestly do not remember.  However, it meant the world to them.  It was those things, the relationship stuff, that caused them to respond when I asked them to “Come and see” in a youth service.  It was those things that opened the door for me to speak truth into their lives.  Because our lives are the greatest message we will ever preach.

This is what this generation is looking for.  They are not looking for the coolest Youth Pastor on the planet.  They are not looking for you to melt their faces off with the most powerful exegesis of the book of Nahum.  They are just simply looking for a youth worker who cares.  They are looking for someone that will be there for them through it all.  They are looking for someone to talk to when their parents are fighting.  They are looking for someone to talk to when they have doubts about God.  

Think about it...you are where you are today as a youth worker because somebody somewhere thought it was cool to care about you.  What if we became that kind of youth worker to a student today.

Are our roles important?  Absolutely.  This is what we are.  We have responsibilities that go with our roles in student ministry.  However, what God has been challenging me about is to not think that I am influencing students just because my business card says “Student Pastor.” 

I want to think relationship, not role.

 

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